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Is THAT what they meant?  A book of practical communication insights

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We wrote this book because many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us; they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur to us to question our own (or our partner’s) basic assumptions about who we are and how we interact in the world.

This is really a book of the things I’ve had to learn in order to communicate effectively. In the process of learning all this, I came to understand how difficult it is to step aside from yourself and explore why you think as you do. However, the more you understand how you (and those with whom you're speaking) take in information, the easier the communication becomes. The book is meant as a guide to help people decipher what others are saying and also to readers realize why some of their messages are not being heard the way you intended them.   

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Master/slave Mastery – Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship

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This book is a map to help others design their own personal protocols.  It is a book that provides countless tips and techniques for Masters so they can clarify how they, themselves want to be served. The book gives details about how we (within our relationship) translagted those wishes into elegant service.

In our experience, a protocol manual is much more than documenting rules of service. Writing a protocol manual helps you examine and refine your relationship and your relationship management style. The very process of creating a manual such as this reveals the kinds of service Master really wantsfrom the slave and the kinds of service the slave can actually deliver.

In that light, writing a protocol manual is an exercise in clarifying the intent of your relationshiop.

 

 

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Butchmann’s

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I’d heard so much about Butchmann’s over the years that I wanted to go through it with Jen. It was held in Phoenix (it started in Tucson), I knew most of the instructors (Master Curtis, Master Bert, SlaveMaster, Master Trish) and also many of the support staff (slave samantha, working in the kitchen, and my Leather brother, slave mikey, serving as a general helper).

However, this was new territory for Master, and I thought we would benefit (as a couple) from going through together. For those not familiar with The Butchmann’s Experience, it is just that, an experience. Founded by SlaveMaster and Master Steve Sampson, it is the home of the spiritual approach to M/s and the events are usually sold out months in advance.

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Jen’s mom dies unexpectedly

We were out dancing at Graham’s Central Station. It was March 23. We’d left our phones in our cars, as you can’t hear them inside the dance hall anyway. We were in separate cars. When we were ready to leave I got into my truck and I checked my phone. LOTS of messages from Carl, Karen, and Mindi. I called mindi and was told that Jen’s mother had died. I tried to call Jen, but she was also on the phone.

We were driving. We turned right out of the parking lot and left at Grand Avenue Parkway. Normally, we go up to I-35 and turn left. Suddenly, I see Jen move to the right lane and turn RIGHT onto the northbound lane of the freeway. I did my best to keep up with her: She’s in a Mercedes and I’m in a truck. I couldn’t do it.

I decided to drive back to the apartment and wait. After about 30 minutes, she texted that she was in the I-Hop closest to our apartment. I jumped back into the car and drove over. She was in the first booth, completely stunned. Jen’s mother had turned 63 years old at the end of November (I turned 63 at the beginning of November) and had just retired on December 31st. She was looking forward to her retirement and wasn’t ill so the death was a complete surprise to Jen and her family. We stayed at I-Hop for about two and a half hours. We had to explain to the waitress what was going on; she was alarmed at Jen’s position and how long she’d stayed that way.

Around 11 we drove home.

Jen is home now from the funeral and has brought a plant of her mothers back as a remembrance. She has charged me with the task to keep the plant alive and thriving. I am familiar with this plant and am happy to do this for her.

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GLLA – Jen finds her home in Leather

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I’d presented here in 2008 and had a blast and was very much looking forward to being there again. Very warm and welcoming group: lots of friends that I’ve been seeing on the lecture circuit for the last three years.

We presented a class on protocols (one that conferences often ask for) and one on “Structuring the Structured Relationship.” The classes were well attended and Jen was a big hit.

We didn’t get a table in vending, but we were in the hallway in the lounge area, so the exposure was great. We pretty well covered our costs, so long as I pretend the books were at zero cost. (My publisher charges me as though I were a bookstore: 50% off cover price.)

This was Jen’s first conference and first real look into my world. Sure, she was aware of my previous books and my relationship with my Mistress and slave, but this was her first step into the bigger world. She walked away from GLLA realizing that she belonged in the world of Leather and began her journey down that path. She has referred to this experience as a “coming home” sensation and that she can now behave with her high moral standards and be accepted and welcomed.

We’d love to come back. Great vibes and Sir G takes great care of me.

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