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Is THAT what they meant?  A book of practical communication insights

c 53 communication cover

We wrote this book because many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us; they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur to us to question our own (or our partner’s) basic assumptions about who we are and how we interact in the world.

This is really a book of the things I’ve had to learn in order to communicate effectively. In the process of learning all this, I came to understand how difficult it is to step aside from yourself and explore why you think as you do. However, the more you understand how you (and those with whom you're speaking) take in information, the easier the communication becomes. The book is meant as a guide to help people decipher what others are saying and also to readers realize why some of their messages are not being heard the way you intended them.   

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Master/slave Mastery – Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship

c 52 protocolc cover

This book is a map to help others design their own personal protocols.  It is a book that provides countless tips and techniques for Masters so they can clarify how they, themselves want to be served. The book gives details about how we (within our relationship) translagted those wishes into elegant service.

In our experience, a protocol manual is much more than documenting rules of service. Writing a protocol manual helps you examine and refine your relationship and your relationship management style. The very process of creating a manual such as this reveals the kinds of service Master really wantsfrom the slave and the kinds of service the slave can actually deliver.

In that light, writing a protocol manual is an exercise in clarifying the intent of your relationshiop.

 

 

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Master/slave Mastery – Advanced:  Rekindling the fire, ideas that matter

c 49 advancedcover

This is an advanced Master/slave book. It's for people with very strong core values who have been doing M/s for 5+ years (or been heavily involved in D/s for that long).  This is for people who know a lot about a lot and are open to thinking about what they know in a different way. This is a "content-heavy" book. You'll want about five years of experience to be able to read it comfortably. Readers should thoroughly understand the difference between a D/s culture and an M/s culture.

This book presents many viewpoints on M/s relationships.  I've been attending M/s conferences since 2003 and have taken good notes. Those notes, my 13 years living 24/7 M/s, and extensive discussions with hundreds of people who identify with Mastery and slavery have been combined to create this book. Jen and I explain how strong leaders can combine with strong supportive followers to make a magical relationship.

Unlike the fictional world of Masters and slaves, this book discusses the very real challenges and opportunities available to long-term M/s couples.

 

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My Father Dies

Sorry to be a bit disconnected here and on FetLife these past few days; we're in Santa Fe for my Father's (John H. Rubel) "Celebration of Life" service. He died earlier this month; he was nearly 95. He was a very accomplished and interesting person. He was
 
This party, for that's really what it was, was held in one of the largest homes I've ever been in. I would guess 10,000 sq feet or more. Lavish. Well staffed. Well catered. LOTS of people--perhaps 100.   My younger brother (William) made the Family's speech at the memorial service that took place before the “heavy appetizers” when everyone mingled in the lower level. According to Jewish tradition, I should have done it, but Robin (Father's wife) didn't want me speaking. Probably a good thing: our relationship had not survived my decision to divorce Margo, my first wife, as we still had young children at home. 
At any rate, I'm glad to have Master here with me. This house and the way the guests were served was a snapshot of a lifestyle you only see in movies.

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BDSM Mastery: Relationships – A guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives

c 48 bdsm rels cover

This is a book about relationships.  Adventuresome relationships. Relationships that are not exactly like vanilla relationships (traditional relationships as practiced by the average couple you'd meet at a baseball game).  BDSM relationships differ from vanilla relationships in two specific ways: First, they involve a power-imbalanced structure (one person is clearly in charge, the other person is clearly following); and second, the kind of sex that adventuresome folks practe is, well, not vanilla.
 

This book speaks to those who are starting out in BDSM, or are involved with someone in a BDSM-based relationship. 

Reading this book will save each of you a lot of heartache, frustration, and anger.

 

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Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices

c 47 ms mastery updated cover

This is the first book in a series devoted to Master/slave mastery. It is intended to help people start their relationship thoughtfully.  It discusses cautions about potential Masters and potential slaves.

Jen and I distinguish between D/s and M/s relationships. D/s is more about power exchange while M/s is more about authority transfer. D/s is more about where you fall on the scale of dominance and submission; M/s is about the roles you each play.

Because of these differences, Jen and I believe that D/s and M/s have different "rules of engagement." This book helps explain some of those "rules," as we've come to understand them.

This book is intended to provide important tips and tools for building a firm relationship.

 

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BDSM Mastery – Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols

c 46 basicsbdsm

This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all about.  This is a book that enables someone with zero BDSM experience to walk confidently into thier first munch or club meetiong.

This is also a book for people who have been involved in the community for a while and are now interested in understanding how the puzzle pieces fit together.

Once you've finished this book, you'll have about as much BDSM knowledge as someone who hasbeen actively in the public scene for about five years.

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Butchmann’s

c 34 butchmanns

I’d heard so much about Butchmann’s over the years that I wanted to go through it with Jen. It was held in Phoenix (it started in Tucson), I knew most of the instructors (Master Curtis, Master Bert, SlaveMaster, Master Trish) and also many of the support staff (slave samantha, working in the kitchen, and my Leather brother, slave mikey, serving as a general helper).

However, this was new territory for Master, and I thought we would benefit (as a couple) from going through together. For those not familiar with The Butchmann’s Experience, it is just that, an experience. Founded by SlaveMaster and Master Steve Sampson, it is the home of the spiritual approach to M/s and the events are usually sold out months in advance.

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