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Is THAT what they meant?  A book of practical communication insights

c 53 communication cover

We wrote this book because many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us; they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur to us to question our own (or our partner’s) basic assumptions about who we are and how we interact in the world.

This is really a book of the things I’ve had to learn in order to communicate effectively. In the process of learning all this, I came to understand how difficult it is to step aside from yourself and explore why you think as you do. However, the more you understand how you (and those with whom you're speaking) take in information, the easier the communication becomes. The book is meant as a guide to help people decipher what others are saying and also to readers realize why some of their messages are not being heard the way you intended them.   

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Master/slave Mastery – Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship

c 52 protocolc cover

This book is a map to help others design their own personal protocols.  It is a book that provides countless tips and techniques for Masters so they can clarify how they, themselves want to be served. The book gives details about how we (within our relationship) translagted those wishes into elegant service.

In our experience, a protocol manual is much more than documenting rules of service. Writing a protocol manual helps you examine and refine your relationship and your relationship management style. The very process of creating a manual such as this reveals the kinds of service Master really wantsfrom the slave and the kinds of service the slave can actually deliver.

In that light, writing a protocol manual is an exercise in clarifying the intent of your relationshiop.

 

 

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Master/slave Mastery – Advanced:  Rekindling the fire, ideas that matter

c 49 advancedcover

This is an advanced Master/slave book. It's for people with very strong core values who have been doing M/s for 5+ years (or been heavily involved in D/s for that long).  This is for people who know a lot about a lot and are open to thinking about what they know in a different way. This is a "content-heavy" book. You'll want about five years of experience to be able to read it comfortably. Readers should thoroughly understand the difference between a D/s culture and an M/s culture.

This book presents many viewpoints on M/s relationships.  I've been attending M/s conferences since 2003 and have taken good notes. Those notes, my 13 years living 24/7 M/s, and extensive discussions with hundreds of people who identify with Mastery and slavery have been combined to create this book. Jen and I explain how strong leaders can combine with strong supportive followers to make a magical relationship.

Unlike the fictional world of Masters and slaves, this book discusses the very real challenges and opportunities available to long-term M/s couples.

 

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BDSM Mastery: Relationships – A guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives

c 48 bdsm rels cover

This is a book about relationships.  Adventuresome relationships. Relationships that are not exactly like vanilla relationships (traditional relationships as practiced by the average couple you'd meet at a baseball game).  BDSM relationships differ from vanilla relationships in two specific ways: First, they involve a power-imbalanced structure (one person is clearly in charge, the other person is clearly following); and second, the kind of sex that adventuresome folks practe is, well, not vanilla.
 

This book speaks to those who are starting out in BDSM, or are involved with someone in a BDSM-based relationship. 

Reading this book will save each of you a lot of heartache, frustration, and anger.

 

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Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 – The Advanced Course and Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402 – Living in Harmony

photo 39 communications cover   photo 40 solutions cover

I am now conducting presentations and demos at national conferences about once every three weeks: about 12 a year.

Early in November, 2007, Duane and Kelly (Leather Reign) contacted me about presenting at their 2008 conference in Seattle. It would be in February, could I come?

Sure

Could I do a new presentation? (Remember, I only did two up to this point: Protocols and Establishing an M/s relationship).

Sure. I have a number of working titles, which would you like?” I read them to her.

Nurturing a strong M/s relationship,” she replied.

Sure.

We hung up.

I started thinking: It’s early November. I have until February to work this outline. Hmmm. Long outline, better start.

I wrote solidly for six weeks. By the end of December, I had something like 65,000 words. Not good. Herbert likes books in the 45,000 – 52,000 word range. I discussed it with him.

Break it into two books,” he said.

Right.

By the end of January, we sent two books to CreateSpace:

  • Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 — The Advanced Course. Las Vegas: Nazca Plains.

  • Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402 — Living in Harmony. Las Vegas: Nazca Plains.

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Power Exchange Magazine

photo 38 power exch mag cover

At the very beginning of 2007, Herbert, who was always pushing for new projects, got me to agree to be the managing editor of “Power Exchange Magazine.” Over the course of the next ten months, we produced nine issues before I called it quits from exhaustion. Here’s the list of issue themes:

  • Master/slave Relations — male Master

  • Master/slave Relations — female Master

  • Bootblacking

  • FemDomme

  • Pony Play

  • Polyamory

  • Daddy/boy

  • Leather Spirituality

  • Pup/Trainer

As the magazine was failing to catch on, I made a marketing decision to transform Power Exchange Magazine and into a small book format. This series, Power Exchange Books’ Resource Series, are 100-page books on focused topics of interest to BDSM or Leather folk. The series is about the “why” of what we do, not the “how.” Book titles include:

  • Playing with Disabilities

  • The Art of Slavery

  • Protocols: A Variety of Views

  • Rope, Bondage, and Power

  • Age Play

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Parts – Holes - Wholes:  Photographic Erotic Art books

photo 24 holes   photo 25 parts   photo 26 wholes 

My publisher has decided that I need more published material. We now have the fire play book, “Flames of Passion: Handbook of erotic fire play” and “Protocols: Handbook for the female slave.” He’s suggested that I put out some photography books. Hmmm. He’s decided to go for coffee-table books. Hmmm #2.

Ultimately, he’s had me divide my photos into three groups:

  • Wholes: photos where the entire model was visible. The backdrop or the action made it interesting.

  • Holes: pussy shots

  • Parts: Isolated body parts or parts of the model

It became a Print-On-Demand (POD) book like the others, so when printed it is a photocopy process rather than a printing process. The full color images made it expensive. I like the result.

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Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice

photo 27 cover ms relations

My first book, “Protocol Handbook for the Female slave: theory and practice” came out in June 2006. Once I finished it I mentioned to Herbert that he had published the cart before the horse.

What is that supposed to mean?” he asked somewhat gruffly.

It means that you’ve published a book on how to make protocols without a book describing how to create an M/s structure that would even USE protocols.” I replied.

Hmmmm. Okay. How long would it take you to write that one? Two months?” he asked

God, no. I haven’t even thought of this. I’d have to do a lot of research and build an outline. After that, I can give you some idea.” I said.

Okay, keep me posted.” He said.

I began working. By the end of summer, we had our second book in print. It was: “Master/slave Relations: Handbook of theory and practice.This book became the basis of my own M/s structure with my slave.

With these two books under my belt, I was prepared to begin doing presentations.

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Writing Books

photo 16 prots cover

 

Herbert came over to our home in Lago Vista for a photo shoot last week. I was in my office. Herbert knocked on the front door, opened it, and called out: “Halooo, halloo” as he let himself in. He knew where I was. This all happened so quickly that he appeared before I had time to get out of my chair.

What are you writing?” he asked.

slave mindi’s protocol manual,” I replied.

Let me see that,” he said. I handed him what I had thus far written and printed out. He thumbed through it.

There’s nothing like this in print.” he declared.

I don’t think there’s a market for a protocols book. Everyone has to make their own.”

The last book that covered this kind of material was by Larry Townsend in 1979.”

What didn’t you understand about what I just said?” I asked.

What do you not understand about the fact that I’m the publisher in the room.” He replied. “How long will it take you to get this into publishable shape?”

About two months.” I stated.

Good. Shall we say September 15th, then?”

NOTE: This book, “Protocol handbook for the female slave: theory and practice” was the first of my non-fiction books about the M/s life. It turned out to be the start of a long string of books that continues to this day. I shot the cover photo. This was my slave's actual protocol manual. It is a snapshot in time of the way we lived from about 2006-2010.

Herbert ended up publishing about a dozen of my books over the years, a magazine that lasted a year, and six small books in the “Power Exchange Resource Series” group.

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As long as you cite me as the author and the source is http://www.KinkMastery.com, you are permitted to copy up to 50 words.  Beyond that, please be a good-guy and write to me for reprint permission: PowerExchangeEditor@Yahoo.com