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Squirms, Screams and Squirts:  Going from Great Sex to Extraordinary Sex

photo 34 sss cover

Once I realized that M/s Relations and Protocols were really autobiographies about the way mindi and I were in the world, I also realized we’d left the sexual part out. However, the kind of sex we did was a little different from Vanilla sex. Because of this I decided to tackle the idea of writing a book about “advanced” sex techniques. I decided it should feature dildos, vibrators, fingering, licking, and erotic shaving.

It took me over a year to pull the material together and to take the photos that I’d use as illustrations. As it was nearing completion, Herbert asked about the title. I have no idea what I said, but he essentially vetoed that title and suggested: “Squirms, Screams, and Squirts.” For a gay man, I thought that was extraordinary. At any rate, after I added the tag line, “Handbook for going from great sex to extraordinary sex,” we released it.

I can’t remember quite why, but I gave a copy to Stacey Bean. She’s sort-of been on the fringes of my world for some time. She’s really an Internet sub and had a lot of trouble integrating into the Austin scene. At any rate, she was “chat pals” with Hugh Heffner’s partner/girlfriend/main-squeeze and Stacey posted something about the book.

The next thing I know, Herbert is calling asking what I did.

About what?” I asked.

What did you do to get triple-s (as we called it) to sell? Have you seen your Amazon numbers?”

Nope, haven’t seen them and I haven’t done anything.” I replied

It turned out that Playboy Online picked up the book and recommended it as the #1 gift book for Valentine’s Day 2008.

photo 35 playboy webpg

Once Playboy put the book up just before Valentine’s day in 2008, Penthouse Forum contacted me about running a free promotional. Here that is…

photo 36 pent coverphoto 37 penthouse

Sales took off.

NOTE: That book ended up selling over 12,000 Amazon copies and remained in the 2,000-14,000 sales ran for about three years. Pretty amazing.

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Sex, SM Play, and a Poly Household

Note: 2004-5 was a period of frequent sex and sm play. On the sexual side, we were very involved with the swing community and were regulars at The Jungle, Austin’s up-scale swing club. Jac (the owner) and I became very close friends. To calibrate what I mean by sexually active, my log shows that I had sex with 18 different women in 2004 and with 15 different women in 2005. Some of these were one-offs at The Jungle (Austin's kooky on-site swingers club), but many became multiple or long-term play partners.

Playing with many women gave me a lot of practice with my sex techniques. In particular, I’d become reasonably good at making girls squirt and at fisting. At one of The Jungle parties, a woman’s husband approached me about fisting his wife. This was my first time trying to fist a woman I didn’t know well. I was pretty anxious, but all went tremendously well and all three of us had lots of fun. That we didn’t have any lube has made that scene one of my most vivid recollections: I just kept licking my hand/wrist and…

Most of the sex play at The Jungle was straight sex, but there were one or two ladies with whom I did fire or knife play. Jac would invite me to do a fire play demo a few times a year and that usually resulted in some ladies asking for that experience later in the evening. There was an “exhibition platform” in the back house and that’s where I did the fire play.

I had a woman up on the exhibition platform and set off the flash cotton. Huge flash, of course; the crowd made appropriate gasps. Then, from the orgy room (three king-sized mattresses in a row) a man walked in, looked around, and said, “What’s up?”

We explained we had just set off some flash cotton (nitro cellulous). He said, “Oh. Okay. I’m the fire marshal for the University of Texas and just wondered what the flash was.”

LOL

c 06 fire play

Anyway, I was mentioning that I learned vanilla sex techniques from watching the guys and playing at The Jungle. I leaned to combine my play skills with sex techniques with those who become long-term partners; it was also a chance to build my kink skills.

On the “kink skills” topic, we were also attending play parties where I often was doing fire play demos there, too.

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