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  • Master/slave Mastery - Protocols
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ms protocol Focusing the intent of your relationship

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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This book is a map to help others design their own personal protocols. It is a book that provides countless tips and

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communications A book of practical communication insights

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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Many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us because they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur

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bdsmmastery basics your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all

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bdsm mastery relationships a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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This is a book about relationships. Adventuresome relationships. Relationships that are not exactly like vanilla relationships. BDSM relationships

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ms mastery updated Updated handbook of concepts, approaches and practices

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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As you learn more about M/s structures, you will learn that unlike the popularized version in which the slave’s primary reason-for-being

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master slave mastery advanced Refining the fire—ideas that matter

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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In my view, the Master/slave dynamic provides an almost unique opportunity for a like-minded couple to design a magical life for themselves… so

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The person who is loud and wrong gets followed more often than those who are quiet and right.

Bill Clinton
Personal Exploration and Discovery
Bob's Personal Journey

photo 11 the family

Renee (my second wife, far right) had been able to accept Karen as Mistress. Master/slave was a foreign land so far as our marriage was concerned, and I was fascinated with it from the start.  What Mistress offered was not threatening to our own relationship.

That was not the case once Mindi entered the picture.  From the first night that Mindi spent at our house after the fire play class, she knew.  

Renee was only marginally interested in BDSM; she was not at all interested in M/s. This all came to a head and she moved out in the summer of 2005. Actually, she moved about six blocks away.


NOTE: I sold all the shop equipment and have rather lost touch with the lathe, lathe tools, and a very special collection of exotic hardwood blocks. I suppose that in 2016 those blocks of wood are unattainable in the US.  One was lingum vitae and one was coco bolla.  The coco bolla was probably 8” square x 30”.  I suppose it weighed 30+ pounds. The lingum wasn’t much smaller; it was a jade-color. They were always too valuable to cut up to turn. I wasn’t quite that good on the lathe.  I “loaned” that stuff to someone who lives near Houston who now doesn’t return my emails.  I could force the issue, but haven’t.

In 2006, Brenna, Mindi, and I moved in together in an apartment in Austin.

The three of us moved to Panama in January, 2009.

Mistress had to return early because of her son’s health.

Mindi and I returned the following December.

Renee still lives in the same space, blocks from our home together. I remain in close touch with her.

Personal Exploration and Discovery
Bob's Personal Journey
Thoughtful Stuff

photo 8 books

NOTE: SAADE club meetings included a 60-90 minute demo or presentation. These were amazing events that discuss all sorts of topics that I’d never thought about. Erotic shaving? Basic rope bondage? Wrapping someone up in Saran Wrap? Spanking someone for erotic purposes?

At 58 years old, all this appeared to be occurring on a parallel universe.  I’d had zero exposure to anything but very vanilla sex prior to a year ago. I hadn’t been sexually curious to this point and I was brought up largely without kids my own age living in our neighborhood so I’d had no exposure to sexual options.


Since I’ve been trained to be an academic researcher, I decided that the obvious thing to do would be to read books and go to weekend BDSM conferences.  

I read lots of books. But, there simply aren’t very many books in print. We have “SM-101” and “Screw the Roses” and “The Loving Dominant,” but not a whole lot beyond that.  I continued to find books as they came out: generally, I read them immediately.

Austin is well located for weekend BDSM conferences.  My “main club,” NLA-Austin, puts on its own weekend educational event and GWNN has its annual Bash. Up in Dallas, you have both Southplains Leather Fest and Beyond Vanilla.  Renee and I are/have been going to all four of them: we were sucking up knowledge at a very good rate.

The first year we attended Southplains, we took 100% “skills track” classes.  There were a bunch of classes in something called the “M/s track,” but those seemed to be for the gay guys who were dressed a little differently from the rest of us.

By the second year that we went up for Southplains, we at least knew that Master/salve existed and started taking those classes.

By the third year at Southplains, we only took the M/s classes.

I’d found my fit. The rest is history.

Relating to Books
Writing Books
Once I realized that M/s Relations and Protocols were really autobiographies about the way mindi and I were in the world, I also realized we’d left th...

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